even Geniuses need a vacation...
Well, after all those emotions
(BTW, the SUV that exploded
was his, so stop panicking....)
Ok, don't look at me like that...
IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!
I probably talk a bit too much,
and sometimes maybe
to the wrong people... But HECK,
with the crazy rythm of shooting
episodes that he had, a part from
hoping for an actor strike,
THIS was the only way we could
get a decent vacation!
(Moreover, THEY forced me to pay
and the job was not even properly
done! REALLY, IT WAS NOT FAIR!)
But what was done, was done...
and, as I was saying,
we all needed a a vacation.
A VACATION..... a real one, with
a lot of filming and pics so I
could annoy my friends
and family once back,
like after Life Aquatic....
A vacation... leaving far, far away...
for a dangerous, totally wild,
almost unexplored country...
A country where I could
bring my rifle, my hat
and my whip to protect myself
from the wild local tribes...
A country where I could finally
be a REAL man....a hunter...
Dangerous Amazon forest?
Wild Zaire? Silent Gobi desert?
And finally a sudden flash
enlightened my mind:
THE SOUTH!
In the south
they had
history
manners
trees
food
sincerity
ghosts
inspiration
land
patience
fire
flies
courtesy
rocking chairs
pie
That's why I decided to go to
Germany!
AH, OLD EUROPE!!!!
I could already see myself
sliding down the eternal
snow of Everest Mountain,
stride in the lonesome, mysterious
russian savana
riding through the South Pole
with my sleigh...
I have already bought
one of the DOGS!
OK, then, now I needed
to organize it all.
First thing I needed a little help...
that was not difficult to find,
I am very popular at work...
the guys of the crew
have even artistically decorated
the objects of their everyday's
life with my face...
my collegue were so nice
they said that they were
so happy to see me going away
that they didn't mind to help!
(and yes, er...
I had to hire some
more people
I REALLY had
A LOT of luggages!)
THE TRAVEL
My adventure could finally start...
yes! I was finally G.R.A.Y.
(Going on the Road Again,Yeah!)
I took my car and I
headed for GERMANY!!!!
YOOOHO!!!
Like an old explorer!
Only.... I suddenly find
myself in front of a
HUGE PROBLEM.......
HECK! NOBODY HAD WARNED ME!!!
Anyway, I left my old Volvo and I
I hitchhiked my way...
but the only possibility I found
was going to take a little bit of time....
Moreover...there was already
a huge crowd (95% more
beautiful than all art) waiting...
and I had not much time,
(Ed was probably recovering
insanely quickly)
so, despite the guys were
lovely and gave me a begel
and a smoke...
(BTW, funny taste
their mint cigarets...)
I decided to take the plane...
Actually, this part of my trip
is a bit confused...
the airplane, a weird one,
was up there...then there was
a kind of...BEAM....
and I was brought aboard....
and there, there was that
weird steward staring at me...
probably a fan....
and also a couple of those...
Or maybe they were still on that boat?
No, no...I'm certain...
then I don't remember much...
I think I slept for the
rest of the flight.
But when I woke up I was..
IN GERMANY!!!!!
I was extremely well documented,
(I had googled "Germany"
just before leaving!)
Germany, the local population,
primitive tribes of Goths
Visigoths, Oystergoths
and Sturm und Drangs,
(I was ready to face the danger,
(Moreover I had brought
some of these
to exchange with their
primitive golden jewels
I heard the Nibelungen had rings.)
and Berlin, with its famous
Wailing Wall....
(I thought it was bigger, though.)
I was not like those ignorant,
ugly American turists,
nobody could suspect I didn't
belong to the country!
The first thing I did,
was to go in a tipical
German restaurant
and taste the local "delicatessen".
well...
maybe with a little bit
too much enthousiasm.
But I was more careful with
the local females...
Ed had told me: "don't touch the girls,
we have enough of J.J. pregnant,
we don't want to have to blow
Reid out for nine months too.
Don't forget the good old latex friends."
I didn't get exactly what he meant,
but I didn't take the risk.
Whenever I was with a girl...
I wore surgical GLOVES.
Anyway, I'm back, now...
And guess who came to
get me at the airport?
er... I was happy to see
that he was feeling better...
and I was also happy
that I found a good place
to HIDE!
Special thanks to my
very special friend Outi
my living database and my Muse.
