GOING SOUTH
even Geniuses need a vacation...

Well, after all those emotions
(BTW, the SUV that exploded

was his, so stop panicking....)
Ok, don't look at me like that...

IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!
I probably talk a bit too much,
and sometimes maybe

to the wrong people... But HECK,
with the crazy rythm of shooting
episodes that he had, a part from
hoping for an actor strike,
THIS was the only way we could
get a decent vacation!
(Moreover, THEY forced me to pay

and the job was not even properly
done! REALLY, IT WAS NOT FAIR!)

But what was done, was done...
and, as I was saying,
we all needed a a vacation.
A VACATION..... a real one, with
a lot of filming and pics so I
could annoy my friends
and family once back,
like after Life Aquatic....

A vacation... leaving far, far away...
for a dangerous, totally wild,
almost unexplored country...

A country where I could
bring my rifle, my hat
and my whip to protect myself
from the wild local tribes...
A country where I could finally

be a REAL man....a hunter...


Dangerous Amazon forest?
Wild Zaire? Silent Gobi desert?
And finally a sudden flash
enlightened my mind:
THE SOUTH!
In the south
they had
history
manners
trees
food
sincerity
ghosts
inspiration
land
patience
fire
flies
courtesy
rocking chairs
pie
That's why I decided to go to

Germany!
AH, OLD EUROPE!!!!
I could already see myself

sliding down the eternal
snow of Everest Mountain,
stride in the lonesome, mysterious

russian savana
riding through the South Pole
with my sleigh...
I have already bought

one of the DOGS!
OK, then, now I needed
to organize it all.

First thing I needed a little help...
that was not difficult to find,

I am very popular at work...
the guys of the crew
have even artistically decorated


the objects of their everyday's
life with my face...


my collegue were so nice

they said that they were
so happy to see me going away
that they didn't mind to help!
(and yes, er...
I had to hire some
more people

I REALLY had
A LOT of luggages!)

THE TRAVEL
My adventure could finally start...
yes! I was finally G.R.A.Y.
(Going on the Road Again,Yeah!)

I took my car and I
headed for GERMANY!!!!
YOOOHO!!!
Like an old explorer!
Only.... I suddenly find
myself in front of a
HUGE PROBLEM.......

HECK! NOBODY HAD WARNED ME!!!
Anyway, I left my old Volvo and I
I hitchhiked my way...

but the only possibility I found
was going to take a little bit of time....
Moreover...there was already
a huge crowd (95% more
beautiful than all art) waiting...

and I had not much time,
(Ed was probably recovering
insanely quickly)
so, despite the guys were
lovely and gave me a begel


and a smoke...

(BTW, funny taste

their mint cigarets...)
I decided to take the plane...

Actually, this part of my trip
is a bit confused...

the airplane, a weird one,
was up there...then there was

a kind of...BEAM....
and I was brought aboard....

and there, there was that
weird steward staring at me...
probably a fan....
and also a couple of those...

Or maybe they were still on that boat?
No, no...I'm certain...


then I don't remember much...

I think I slept for the
rest of the flight.
But when I woke up I was..

IN GERMANY!!!!!
I was extremely well documented,

(I had googled "Germany"
just before leaving!)
Germany, the local population,
primitive tribes of Goths

Visigoths, Oystergoths
and Sturm und Drangs,
(I was ready to face the danger,

(Moreover I had brought
some of these

to exchange with their
primitive golden jewels
I heard the Nibelungen had rings.)

and Berlin, with its famous
Wailing Wall....

(I thought it was bigger, though.)

I was not like those ignorant,
ugly American turists,

nobody could suspect I didn't
belong to the country!
The first thing I did,
was to go in a tipical

German restaurant
and taste the local "delicatessen".

well...

maybe with a little bit
too much enthousiasm.
But I was more careful with
the local females...

Ed had told me: "don't touch the girls,
we have enough of J.J. pregnant,
we don't want to have to blow
Reid out for nine months too.
Don't forget the good old latex friends."
I didn't get exactly what he meant,
but I didn't take the risk.
Whenever I was with a girl...

I wore surgical GLOVES.

Anyway, I'm back, now...
And guess who came to
get me at the airport?

er... I was happy to see
that he was feeling better...
and I was also happy

that I found a good place
to HIDE!










Special thanks to my
very special friend Outi
my living database and my Muse.

WILD WILD WEB
(WARNING: if you are
not familiar with
the Gube's website, with his
Myspace profile with his
pictures, avatars, blogs,
don't even TRY to read
this Gubelog...)

My name is M.A.T.T.H.E.W.
(Madly Addict To The
Horrible Evil Website)

and I am... a...
a Gubelog addict.

"Hi M.a.t.t.h.e.w.!"

It started...about a year ago...

*************************************************************
In the beginning

Gube created

www.matthewgraygubler.com
wich was and still is

In those times,
The Gube was living
a happy life, he was
friend of all the living
creatures, and he knew
how to make them

follow him blindly despite
of his bad manners...
(he had not been in the South yet)

friend of the cattle,

and of the creeping things

and beasts of the Earth

wich he considered more
beautiful than 95 % of all art.
(eccept, maybe

some stupid stalker, but they
generally didn't last enough
to tell it around.)

Virtual World, April 2007

But... as in every PARADISE....
POISONOUS, HIDDEN
AMONG THE WEB BUSHES,
THE SNAKE!!!!!!

THE SNAKE FROM PARIS!
THE TERRIBLY DANGEROUS
WIKED GUBELOG DEALER!


Hey, Mr. G., why you're
being so MEAN! Why you
don't tell them that YOU came
on MY Myspace and you
left a compliment message there?

Remember? Not so long ago!
www.myspace.com/paolafromparis

A SILLY MISTAKE!
I hadn't realized the danger yet...
despite the warning of my
friends and family

I couldn't resist...I was going
on that EVIL webpage day after
day, neglecting myself...
I forgot to eat...
and when I went to the South
I hardly had the force

to rock my rocking chair!
I let my hair grow so
long and so greasy...

that I didn't dare to scratch
my own head without
wearing surgical gloves...
And my NAILS grew so long

that it became impossible for me
to wear gloves in order
to scratch my head!
Slowly slowly I began to
lose every connection with reality...
Even at work I started

to have weird hallucinations!
Because of that and because
of the consant itch,
sometimes I reacted a bit
too sharply, I have to admit.

That's why they had to change
three times their cliffhanger...
(They finally decided
to wait for the beginning
of the season to see which one
will not survive...
Just in case there will be several
of them still "severely injuried",
they can always make a cross over

with a more adapted TV show!)


AND THERE WAS WORST
THAN THAT!
IN MY OWN WEBPAGE....
STRANGE THINGS

BEGAN TO HAPPEN!
And I "felt" her "presence"
How could she know
all I was doing step by step?
she had to be EVERYWHERE...
and when I say EVERYWHERE....

I REALLY mean it!
She was stalking me...
slowly penetrating into my brain...
when I realized it, I immediately
tried to detox...I wrote her
directly from my Myspace:
www.myspace.com/matthewgraygubler

and

and even

but she didn' stop!
MOREOVER, I don't have
any proof, BUT

this was what happened to
my lawyer immediately after he
went to see her... and I don't
believein coincidences!!!

I didn't give up....
I had to find her, I had to stop her.

I put up her about face
everywhere on the web...

I was desperate...

I even tried to HIRE someone
who could...er...do the job...

er...several of them...

even professionals...


But, for some reason, all of them


failed, so I had no choice.

I had to take care of it MYSELF.

(I'm soooo sorry I killed a creature
95% better than art, but I'm glad to
tell you that after this terrible
accident, I had my sight tested...


and as soon as I had my
new lens, I realized that
the pet I had bought a
week before was

definitely NOT a DOG!)

But let's go back to topic:
since then I'm spending
my days waiting for her...

don't get me WRONG,
I just want to TALK...
(the gun is for skeet shooting.)
But as she didn't show up until now....

I'm going to meet her face to face...

Yeah...I'm fed up with his
continuos stalking....
I'm going to meet him face to face...


and if we don't find a solution...