G.U.B.E.
(Get the Unbelivable Best Episode)

I think I am expressing
here everybody's thought...
There is not enough of ME,

In that Criminal Minds TV show.
I talked about that to Simon ...

He listened to me for about...
let's say, one hour, maybe two.
He was absolutely
ENTHOUSIASTIC!
he finally said:
'go on Mr. Gabler, make your
masterpiece and we will produce it.'

SO I STARTED MY GREAT ADVENTURE!
I needed some slav...
er, some friends who could
work for me without being payed...
I asked Anton to help me,



You know me...
NOTHING can stop me!
so I made MYSELF ALONE
what I like to call...

THE VERY BEST EPISODE OF CM
Writing a CM episode
is EXTREMELY easy, after all.
You need:

A) a bunch of dead prostitutes...

those were easy to get.

It's full of them, near the studios...
and they cannot run away
that fast, on their high heels!

B) A CREEPY UNSUB...

I can do that!

Wait...I am supposed
to be the good guy...
Or maybe.....

I could change the
title of the episode...
This could emphasize
the changes in
Reid's personality!

THE CHARACTERS
FIRST OF ALL, I will
change this stupid
image of Reid being
a kind of asexual freak...
I KNOW what my fans want, so...

(you will see the whole 3 min
HOT video on youtube as soon as
I will win my fight against
freaking computer technology)

HEY I MADE IT I MADE IT!!!!
http://www.youtube
.com/watch?v=DqmoWGUpaUg

And second, I thought Reid
badly needed a new hair style,
more original, adapted to
his new personality....

PERFECT!
Now, because Reid has changed,
the interaction between
him and the other characters
must change too...

For the first time,
Reid will not be
the victim of that jerk
who only managed to read

one book in his whole life!
He will pay him back point
by point...
For instance, after all that training
shooting prostitutes...

Reid has become a JEDI
on the firing range!
do you remember THAT whistle?

that was NOTHING!
That JERK will have to take
this!

and this!

and this!


And THIS too...

BASTARD...
And that's just the BEGINNING...
wait until the day

THAT is a scoop,
(Hemorroids can also explain
why Morgan is constantly
so nervous that can't avoid
snapping Reid and
kicking doors even when
he has got the key...)
And Reid who has never
forgotten how Morgan had
ratted him out some time before,
can finally have his vengeance...

A quick word with J.J....
and the day after

The WHOLE WORLD knows!

A bit childish, maybe...

but terribly effective!!!
This for Morgan...


Let's talk about the girls, now.
The CM girls...well...not that they are
not good looking...but...
with all those changing in Reid..
I think that the girls have to
change a bit too...

become a bit more..



modern, maybe?
Aaaaa, this is MUCH better....
the only small problem is that
after Dr. Reid shows his...er...
REAL personality of
Lasveganian lover,
the official picture

for the presentation of the show

has to be

changed a little bit...
(I also put there my new dog.
Doctor Reid c'est MOI!)

THE EPISODE


J.J.: Biba Balula 29 years old
found dead in
St. FLoyd The Magnificent's
Church, Washington.
REID : Report said it was a suicide.
J.J.: That's the conclusion
Washington Police came too.
REID: And now you must
have some compelling reasons to
think Biba Balula didn't suicide?
J.J.:Yes, there is a small doubt
about the circumstances of the suicide.
The victim stabbed herself
after having swallowed a
Cardinal's skull-cap
and then hanged herself.
But, apparently, the result
was not totally satisfactory,

so she threw herself into the grinder...


REID: Mmmmm....a
Cardinal's skull-cap....
I THINK I'M READY
FOR THE PROFILE!




Matthew Gray Gubler once said:
'Can I give a Shout Out
to the Gublettes?
SHOUT OUT!
done'

REID: Methodic, organized,
the killers seems to have a
total control on the victim...
the fact they forces her to swallow
a Cardinal's cap means that
they are organizing a terrorist
attack against the Pope who will
visit the President today!

MORGAN: How can you affirm that?

REID: Because I'm a Genius!

PRENTISS: (to herself)AMAZING!
I'm a coug for the Reid!
MORGAN: (to himself) GRUNT!

ROSSI: (to himself) I read ALL his books...

HOTCH: (to himself) I think I LOVE him...
REID: We don't have time...
see you down there, guys

Reid lands on the roof of
the White house , climbs down the wall

and enters trough
the window right in the room
where the President and the Pope
are meeting.

REID: No panic, everybody out,
there is a bomb in the Pope's microphone!
POPE: (to himself) when I will go
back to the Vatican, I will beatify him...

Reid escorts the President to a secure place

PRESIDENT: (to himself)I thought
Superman was a fictional character! RICE: (to herself) He's SMOKING HOT!

Reid comes back, makes the bomb
explose in full security. After that, because of his natural modesty,

he takes a little rest far from the
enthousiastic crowd in the gardens of the White House...

and he finally reaches
Enlightenment under
a banyan tree.

FADES.