WILD WILD WEB
(WARNING: if you are
not familiar with
the Gube's website, with his
Myspace profile with his
pictures, avatars, blogs,
don't even TRY to read
this Gubelog...)

My name is M.A.T.T.H.E.W.
(Madly Addict To The
Horrible Evil Website)

and I am... a...
a Gubelog addict.

"Hi M.a.t.t.h.e.w.!"

It started...about a year ago...

*************************************************************
In the beginning

Gube created

www.matthewgraygubler.com
wich was and still is

In those times,
The Gube was living
a happy life, he was
friend of all the living
creatures, and he knew
how to make them

follow him blindly despite
of his bad manners...
(he had not been in the South yet)

friend of the cattle,

and of the creeping things

and beasts of the Earth

wich he considered more
beautiful than 95 % of all art.
(eccept, maybe

some stupid stalker, but they
generally didn't last enough
to tell it around.)

Virtual World, April 2007

But... as in every PARADISE....
POISONOUS, HIDDEN
AMONG THE WEB BUSHES,
THE SNAKE!!!!!!

THE SNAKE FROM PARIS!
THE TERRIBLY DANGEROUS
WIKED GUBELOG DEALER!


Hey, Mr. G., why you're
being so MEAN! Why you
don't tell them that YOU came
on MY Myspace and you
left a compliment message there?

Remember? Not so long ago!
www.myspace.com/paolafromparis

A SILLY MISTAKE!
I hadn't realized the danger yet...
despite the warning of my
friends and family

I couldn't resist...I was going
on that EVIL webpage day after
day, neglecting myself...
I forgot to eat...
and when I went to the South
I hardly had the force

to rock my rocking chair!
I let my hair grow so
long and so greasy...

that I didn't dare to scratch
my own head without
wearing surgical gloves...
And my NAILS grew so long

that it became impossible for me
to wear gloves in order
to scratch my head!
Slowly slowly I began to
lose every connection with reality...
Even at work I started

to have weird hallucinations!
Because of that and because
of the consant itch,
sometimes I reacted a bit
too sharply, I have to admit.

That's why they had to change
three times their cliffhanger...
(They finally decided
to wait for the beginning
of the season to see which one
will not survive...
Just in case there will be several
of them still "severely injuried",
they can always make a cross over

with a more adapted TV show!)


AND THERE WAS WORST
THAN THAT!
IN MY OWN WEBPAGE....
STRANGE THINGS

BEGAN TO HAPPEN!
And I "felt" her "presence"
How could she know
all I was doing step by step?
she had to be EVERYWHERE...
and when I say EVERYWHERE....

I REALLY mean it!
She was stalking me...
slowly penetrating into my brain...
when I realized it, I immediately
tried to detox...I wrote her
directly from my Myspace:
www.myspace.com/matthewgraygubler

and

and even

but she didn' stop!
MOREOVER, I don't have
any proof, BUT

this was what happened to
my lawyer immediately after he
went to see her... and I don't
believein coincidences!!!

I didn't give up....
I had to find her, I had to stop her.

I put up her about face
everywhere on the web...

I was desperate...

I even tried to HIRE someone
who could...er...do the job...

er...several of them...

even professionals...


But, for some reason, all of them


failed, so I had no choice.

I had to take care of it MYSELF.

(I'm soooo sorry I killed a creature
95% better than art, but I'm glad to
tell you that after this terrible
accident, I had my sight tested...


and as soon as I had my
new lens, I realized that
the pet I had bought a
week before was

definitely NOT a DOG!)

But let's go back to topic:
since then I'm spending
my days waiting for her...

don't get me WRONG,
I just want to TALK...
(the gun is for skeet shooting.)
But as she didn't show up until now....

I'm going to meet her face to face...

Yeah...I'm fed up with his
continuos stalking....
I'm going to meet him face to face...


and if we don't find a solution...

G.U.B.E.
(Get the Unbelivable Best Episode)

I think I am expressing
here everybody's thought...
There is not enough of ME,

In that Criminal Minds TV show.
I talked about that to Simon ...

He listened to me for about...
let's say, one hour, maybe two.
He was absolutely
ENTHOUSIASTIC!
he finally said:
'go on Mr. Gabler, make your
masterpiece and we will produce it.'

SO I STARTED MY GREAT ADVENTURE!
I needed some slav...
er, some friends who could
work for me without being payed...
I asked Anton to help me,



You know me...
NOTHING can stop me!
so I made MYSELF ALONE
what I like to call...

THE VERY BEST EPISODE OF CM
Writing a CM episode
is EXTREMELY easy, after all.
You need:

A) a bunch of dead prostitutes...

those were easy to get.

It's full of them, near the studios...
and they cannot run away
that fast, on their high heels!

B) A CREEPY UNSUB...

I can do that!

Wait...I am supposed
to be the good guy...
Or maybe.....

I could change the
title of the episode...
This could emphasize
the changes in
Reid's personality!

THE CHARACTERS
FIRST OF ALL, I will
change this stupid
image of Reid being
a kind of asexual freak...
I KNOW what my fans want, so...

(you will see the whole 3 min
HOT video on youtube as soon as
I will win my fight against
freaking computer technology)

HEY I MADE IT I MADE IT!!!!
http://www.youtube
.com/watch?v=DqmoWGUpaUg

And second, I thought Reid
badly needed a new hair style,
more original, adapted to
his new personality....

PERFECT!
Now, because Reid has changed,
the interaction between
him and the other characters
must change too...

For the first time,
Reid will not be
the victim of that jerk
who only managed to read

one book in his whole life!
He will pay him back point
by point...
For instance, after all that training
shooting prostitutes...

Reid has become a JEDI
on the firing range!
do you remember THAT whistle?

that was NOTHING!
That JERK will have to take
this!

and this!

and this!


And THIS too...

BASTARD...
And that's just the BEGINNING...
wait until the day

THAT is a scoop,
(Hemorroids can also explain
why Morgan is constantly
so nervous that can't avoid
snapping Reid and
kicking doors even when
he has got the key...)
And Reid who has never
forgotten how Morgan had
ratted him out some time before,
can finally have his vengeance...

A quick word with J.J....
and the day after

The WHOLE WORLD knows!

A bit childish, maybe...

but terribly effective!!!
This for Morgan...


Let's talk about the girls, now.
The CM girls...well...not that they are
not good looking...but...
with all those changing in Reid..
I think that the girls have to
change a bit too...

become a bit more..



modern, maybe?
Aaaaa, this is MUCH better....
the only small problem is that
after Dr. Reid shows his...er...
REAL personality of
Lasveganian lover,
the official picture

for the presentation of the show

has to be

changed a little bit...
(I also put there my new dog.
Doctor Reid c'est MOI!)

THE EPISODE


J.J.: Biba Balula 29 years old
found dead in
St. FLoyd The Magnificent's
Church, Washington.
REID : Report said it was a suicide.
J.J.: That's the conclusion
Washington Police came too.
REID: And now you must
have some compelling reasons to
think Biba Balula didn't suicide?
J.J.:Yes, there is a small doubt
about the circumstances of the suicide.
The victim stabbed herself
after having swallowed a
Cardinal's skull-cap
and then hanged herself.
But, apparently, the result
was not totally satisfactory,

so she threw herself into the grinder...


REID: Mmmmm....a
Cardinal's skull-cap....
I THINK I'M READY
FOR THE PROFILE!




Matthew Gray Gubler once said:
'Can I give a Shout Out
to the Gublettes?
SHOUT OUT!
done'

REID: Methodic, organized,
the killers seems to have a
total control on the victim...
the fact they forces her to swallow
a Cardinal's cap means that
they are organizing a terrorist
attack against the Pope who will
visit the President today!

MORGAN: How can you affirm that?

REID: Because I'm a Genius!

PRENTISS: (to herself)AMAZING!
I'm a coug for the Reid!
MORGAN: (to himself) GRUNT!

ROSSI: (to himself) I read ALL his books...

HOTCH: (to himself) I think I LOVE him...
REID: We don't have time...
see you down there, guys

Reid lands on the roof of
the White house , climbs down the wall

and enters trough
the window right in the room
where the President and the Pope
are meeting.

REID: No panic, everybody out,
there is a bomb in the Pope's microphone!
POPE: (to himself) when I will go
back to the Vatican, I will beatify him...

Reid escorts the President to a secure place

PRESIDENT: (to himself)I thought
Superman was a fictional character! RICE: (to herself) He's SMOKING HOT!

Reid comes back, makes the bomb
explose in full security. After that, because of his natural modesty,

he takes a little rest far from the
enthousiastic crowd in the gardens of the White House...

and he finally reaches
Enlightenment under
a banyan tree.

FADES.